Thursday, 15 May 2014

Awkward Racism Phone Call

Her:  Hello (insert name of location) hospital emergency department.

Me:  Hi, this is Augustus from (insert company name).  I'm inquiring about free services for one of my clients.  He's got no identity documents, so he can't apply for a Medicare card at the moment, but I have some concerns about his health, in particular, pain pertaining to a neck injury.  I was just wondering if the hospital would see him?  He doesn't have money to pay for medical fees.

Her:  What do you mean, he doesn't have identity documents?

Me:  Well, his birth certificate got burnt in a fire.  We're in the process of re-applying for one, but I'd like him to see a doctor as soon as possible.

Her:  *laughs exasperatedly*  Where are his documents?  He would need them to open a bank account.  He'd need them to get a driver's licence.  When did he lose his documents?

Me:  About 10 years ago.

Her:  Well, he would have needed his documents.  He'll need them to get a Medicare card.  He'd need to be registered with Medicare for seeing a GP.  He'd need documents to rent and pay his accounts.  What has he been doing?

Me: ...uh, well, he hasn't seen a GP in 30 years and he's homeless.

Her:  Is he an Australian?  Has he been in this country all his life?  Like, is he a true aussie?

Me:  Yes.

Her:  Is he an aussie?  Is he one of us?

Me: ...yes.  I believe that he has been in Australia his whole life.

Her:  He's not from oversees?  Does he have an accent?

Me:  No.

Her:  Well, it would depend on who he saw when he came here.  He won't be refused service, but it would depend on who saw him, whether they decided to charge.  Tell him to come on over.  He won't be refused service.

Me:  Thank you very much for the information.

Her:  Pass on my best wishes to him, ok?

Me:  Ok, thank you.





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